i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize