just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
