you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
