Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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