Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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