I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize