I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
