Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
