By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Randomize
