A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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