Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
