dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
