hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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