She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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