what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
