does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
The best revenge is premature balding
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
