Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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