he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
