ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
