You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
