Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
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