I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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