she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
