he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
