Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
