I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize