remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
