im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
