Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
this boner is exhausting
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
