oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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