She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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