Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize