I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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