I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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