problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
50% drunk capacity currently
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
