I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
