fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
bring money and cleavage
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
