I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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