she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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