I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I am available for nakedness
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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