What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Randomize
