I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I bet he comes in French.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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