p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
