Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Non-Jews are for practice
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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