"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
