i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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