We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize