Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He keeps bees of course he's weird
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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