that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
