They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I have aggressive nipples.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize