The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
