; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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