It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
