Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
two words...techno handjob
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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