i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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