During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
