No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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