Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I would fuck him just for his dog
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
