I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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