Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
