I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
