For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
