Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
