I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
