I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
